I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
