He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
