i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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