just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
