we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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