she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
