party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
