I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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