batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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