he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
