WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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