and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
