piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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