____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
