did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
