after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
