Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize