just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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