Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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