I wish my penis had an off switch
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
