When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
