if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
