i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
