dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
