margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize