I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My penis needs a shock collar
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
