So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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