You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
