I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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