Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
