Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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