I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
