And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
