i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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