i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
