Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
