Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
