just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
