I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
