I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
