Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
