Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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