OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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