Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
