Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
