I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
