also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
