Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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