Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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