I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Randomize
