Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
