I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize