and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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