what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
