found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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