I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You ruined the universe
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
