I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
