It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
