bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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