OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
two words: eviction party
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
